How can having a stroke be a spiritual opportunity?

Question: 'In January, I had a major stroke that left me with significant brain damage and the loss of the use of my left side. With intensive physiotherapy, I am beginning to regain some use of my left leg. However, with all the time I have on my hands, I've been doing a lot of self reflection and can't help feeling something is missing. But I can't articulate what. Given that a lot of focus has been on my physical recovery, I suspect what is missing is a spiritual recovery.

But how? I don't even know what it means to be spiritual. How do you know when you have achieved a good spiritual state? Paul

Serge: Thank you, Paul, for your profound question. The first thing I want to say is that I believe all crises have a spiritual meaning or are initiations of one kind or another for us, wherebye something seems to be removed from us at one level , or we lose something - in your case, the feeling in your left side - in order to make  space for something new, at another level, to emerge in its place. And certainly,  this seems to be happening for you.

You say that  you feel something is missing from your life and that you sense it is spirituality. Well, I see this as  a sign that that your spirituality is  actually starting to emerge or grow inside you. For how do we know that something is absent if we have no sense of  what that thing is? Reply: we don't! If there was no spirituality in your life, you would not have any sense that this ingredient was missing. What the message seems to saying is that  now is the time for you to focus on  developing this aspect of your life, as you  now have the space to do so.

A teacher of mine, Ram Dass,  experienced a similar initiation. It is beautifully documented in a DVD entitled Fierce Grace, which I suggest you buy as I think it will be very insightful for you. Basically, Ram Dass' life was going well. He was successful and popular and making a lot of money. And then  he had a stroke, which incapacitated him. Initially, he saw it as an enemy. Why has this happened to me, he moaned, my life was going so well? It took him some months to accept that at a deeper level, what had occurred was a gift from God to help quieten him. (It is only when we are truly peaceful that the divine can really 'enter us'!)

As this realisation  began to dawn , he started talking in terms of being 'Stroked by the divine'  and   came to see that he was being taken to a whole new level in his life, and that his so-called curse was really  a blessing, albeit a fierce one! It also gave those who loved him the chance to support him ( a spiritual act) and for him, who had always been rigorously self sufficient, to accept help ( another spiritual act!)

You ask, Paul, what it means to be spiritual and how we know when we have achieved a good spiritual state? I will  answer the second question first. My reply is  that we don't always know. Many spiritual teachers talk about how, when we feel most lost and destitute, we may in fact be closer to God than when everything is humming in our lives.

How is this?  It is because when we are in that state, our ego or personality self may be less prominent, and so we are more humble. In other words, it is when we are less ego bound-  or when our egos are not running our lives so prominently -  that we are much more of a space to  be open to God. And how open we are at any time, determines our spiritual state.

I am not here implying that the only way to be spiritual is to go through a crisis and experience loss, as this is certainly not the case. But it is  certainly one way.  And at this moment, it seems to be the particular  spiritual journey that your soul is taking you on. Certainly, many people in dire stress have spoken of how, when they were at their wits end, and nothing was working for them,  they would find themselves crying out  for help to God, or to that divine part of themselves,  and would  experience receiving some kind of reply .

For me, being spiritual and being truly human are the same thing.  Not all religious scholars and priests are necessarily  always spiritual  people, and  similarily, many people who do not think much about spirituality, may be full of sweetness and light and so be very spiritual! Sometimes, as in Ram Dass' case and now, it seems, in yours, grace, or the connection with the divine, can be fierce.

I have just gone through a 'baptism by fire' period myself, so I understand this only too well. I guess one definition of spirituality is the willingness to accept  ( that is, not resist) and to work with, whatever way the divine chooses to throw in our path at any time. So Paul, use this time as an opportunity to come to know yourself better.

What did Jesus say: 'Be still, and know that I am God.' Here is your opportunity to come into this same realisation yourself.